Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Figured I Should Digest These Ones A Bit


Stuff looks good. Funny Host. Presenters were gawdawful boring. Do not show talk about your game/movie and then leave without having shown anything. Because Now I'm likely to actively avoid your game just to spite your existence. Red Steel 2 has a gret art style, and Splinter Cell is... well its splinter cell, never liked them, so I dont care what they do. Sam Fisher is a character who hold no heft in my world. Is he suppose to be an American James Bond who feasts upon the shadows. I suppose my main problem is I loathe games with night. I always question why is this at night? So I specifically cannot see the shitty graphics/textures/character models you were too lazy make look nice in Sunlight? Yea, thats what I thought. Assassin's Creed 2 looks great, but no news if they've actually made some interesting stuff to do in their vibrant city-scapes. The Thing about Imagine games however killed the conference. Please. Do you honestly think we give a flying fuck that you can sell shitty games to tweens. I mean honestly, Oh look all the Mario games are sold out and all thats left on the shelf is this Imagine Dresses game, whatever will I get. When such an event occurs I tell the customer this. "You are better off going to another store that has games worth your Child's time, just do not buy that trash." 
Do not brag that you swindle small children out of their allowance. Sounds like a fucking cigarette company. I'm sure Ubisoft is listening to this so they really should heed my advice and simply focus on games, and try not to brag. Seriously, gamers hate bragging. We love to do it ourselves but hate it when someone lords it over us. Although snagging No More Heroes 2, thats a lil better.

Nintendo Conference:

Apparently Nintendo felt that rollercoaster is the best ride to model your system after. And what a ride it was, from random jerking the Casual audience into a climax, to crushing our hope to dreams, to some really great anouncements. After its over you feel like you just had sex, and then find out she took your wallet, and your computer, but hey it was a good time. So new Mario games. Galaxy 2 should be interesting. New Metroid game seems like some kind of fan-dream team project pulled from the minds of crazy die-hard Nintendo fans. The Vitality doo-hickey is well. It is not for me. A balance board I can sorta understand, but a scanner? Yea, suckle that casual tit until its dry Nintendo. Nintendo, I just dont know what to make of you. You sort of try to convince that you care about the hardcore. Meh, at least your games are cheaper than the other ones. 

Sony Conference:

Um. Games, lots of games. A new PSP, without a UMD slot. Should be good, too bad I already got a PSP and am not really interesting in another at this point. Good to have options I suppose. Games, like God of War III, now with more killing! some Agent game that we know nothing about but it'll be BIG. Speaking of big, how about MAG, the game with 256 multiplayer sessions. Yea, I know, spray and pray becomes a legitimate strategy again, I mean you're bound to hit somebody. There was other stuff too, Like FFXIII which seems nice.

But by this point there is so much information about so many games that it is easy to get lost, I could talk about any of them for paragraphs and on. I simply do not know what to do with all of it. It is too much and I just wanna play some games. Man, I really feel sorry for those people who are down at the actual E3, that must be bad. Yet good.

Oh Uncharted 2 beta = great fun. Kinda burned out on it now though. Deathmatch to 25 points is super short. The Capture the treasure (Plunder as its called) is wicked though. Wish people would how to throw the treasure though. Seriously 4 people gather around and watch as one guy fails to throw it. The entire enemy team rolls in and drops us all. Co-Op though... little buggy, fun though, not when you fall through the ground though. But thats why it is a beta right? I may have said too much. Egads! Its all good stuff though! The game is very good. And is on my must buy list now!   

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