Thursday, August 14, 2008

SC 4 & BC:RA

very light reviews today. Sorry for lack of updates. either too tired from work and just want to game, or just dont care enough. My bad. I've got some rough drafts of stuff that I'm slowly working on so stay tuned for those.

Soul Calibur 4,

it's Soul Calibur on the Next Gen systems. If you liked the previous ones you'll like this. Pretty much nothing has changed, barring slight moveset adjustments, and the inclusion of the armor break/soul crush moves. The soul crush moves almost never come into play though so it's kind of a moot point. If you like Soul Calibur you probably already have it. 

If you've never played Soul Calibur but would like to try a new fighting game for when friends come over then I would highly recommend this title. Its fighting system is simple enough that new players can pretty much jump in and mash buttons to a degree of success, while veterans can show off their skill utilizing slightly more advanced moves like counters, impacts, and parries. 

Oh they also increased the boobs. So i guess that is a plus.

Bionic Commando: Rearmed.

Its the classic old school game brought back. With shiny graphics and mind fuckingly stupid secrets. Honestly I never once played the original so i'm in no place to review this title as someone who played it. What I will say is pretty bashing, but oh well.

No jump. No movement in air. (none, zilch, squat, zippo) Horrible collision detection. And retarded decisions on how the bionic arm shoots out. 

If i was simply talking about the single player game's default stuff. Then the game is quite good and most of the above negatives dont really apply, however it is nothing amazing. If however I take the fucked up challenges and the plethora of stupidly secret shit in the game, then I would be forced to knock it for not including such basic features... Like a jump button. I mean for fucks sake. they only use 3 face buttons. 

Is it because adding a jump button would make the game too fucking easy? 

My biggest reason for this complaint is that I played Ninja Five-O. A game that uses a grappling hook AND has a jump button. There are no stupid puzzles that make no sense because the military forgot to teach it's troops something as basic as JUMPING OFF THE GROUND! I wouldnt think you'd need to be a damn ninja to figure this shit out. 

So if the game was a straight remake I wouldnt hold the exclusion of the jump against it. But because they went to elaborate lengths to add numerous extras, and even through in a "new" side swing option, and failed to add something as basic as JUMP, I cannot in good wisdom recommend this title to anyone but those who played the original. It is simply too archaic and stuck up its own ass to see current modern innovations. Like a jump button. 

But the game is quite fun. As long as you avoid the challenges. My god avoid the challenges. Avoid them. Avoid them. Avoid them. They will bleed any enjoyment you might get from the game into dust. And then kick you in the nuts.

my idea of a challenge is something that makes me think "what do they want me to do here"
These challenges ask no such question. The path is almost always obvious. The only problem is pixel perfect timing is required when you launch your stupid fucking arm, and slight deviations result in failure. At least the game lets you restart instantly. I have no desire to acquire "eagle" times on the challenges. They sapped any fun I might have procurred from the game. And I very much doubt I shall return to it again.  

So yea avoid the challenges, stick the main game. Because the normal levels are awesome fun, and the boss fight are also very fun. Just ignore the extras, or you will loathe the game like I now do. For the record I  have currently completed roughly 75% of the challenges. With only the most irritatingly difficult ones left. Most that remain are quite simple in goal, but the actual execution on such a flawed control scheme makes it a trial of your patience more than of actual skill. I do not want to be punished for missing a grapple by .2 seconds. If I grapple the fucking platform that should suffice. 

It is simply poor design on the challenge. Now you might say it is suppose to be "CHALLENGING". True but challenging and ass-rape are two very different things. One makes me think about what I am doing wrong and makes me correct it. The other has me doing the correct thing, but still has me failing for missing by mere pixels, and results in me throwing my controller into the wall.

So yea. Fuck you "challenges". 

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